By Nataly Kogan

Kindness is magic

Tags Kindness

This week I’ve been working on a new keynote about how leading with kindness elevates performance and creates more positive outcomes.

And I remembered a great story about how Wayne Dyer got his first publishing deal that I want to share with you.

Wayne Dyer is a best-selling author and spiritual teacher, whose work has had a deep impact on me.

If you haven’t read his books, The Power of Intention is a great one to start with.

Wayne Dyer wrote dozens of mega-selling books during his lifetime, but when he was just starting out, he was like every other first-time author: he desperately needed to find a publisher who would take a chance on his first book.

(I’ve been there!)

His agent managed to set up a meeting with a publisher at one of the New York publishing houses.

This was a really big deal.

As Wayne Dyer tells the story, when he walked into the meeting, he noticed that the publisher was preoccupied with something.

Instead of launching into talking about himself and his book, Wayne Dyer asked if he was OK and if there was anything he wanted to talk about. He said he was a therapist and was happy to listen.

The publisher shared what was concerning him and they ended up talking about that for the entirety of the meeting.

After Wayne Dyer left, his agent called to see how it went.

“Great,” Wayne Dyer answered, “but we didn’t really talk about my book.”

His agent was livid. How could he waste such a rare opportunity to pitch his book to a top publisher?!!

A few days later, the agent called back.

“I can’t believe this,” he said. “The publisher just called and said that he would publish any book by someone as thoughtful and compassionate as you! You have a book deal!”

The book, Your Erroneous Zones, became one of the top best-selling self-help books of all time, with more than 100 million copies sold to date.

I love this story so much because it’s a beautiful example of the power of kindness.

By being aware of how the other person was feeling and putting his desire to help ahead of his own agenda, Wayne Dyer led with compassion.

He built trust, and instead of a pitch, turned the meeting into a moment of genuine human connection.

As mountains of research show, when we feel connected to each other, when have greater trust, we’re more open, collaborative, and willing to hear different perspectives.

This is why when doctors talk to patients with kindness, the patients are more likely to stick to their treatments and report better outcomes.

When sales people lead with compassion, they create better client relationships and have higher sales.

Kindness literally leads to better performance and outcomes.

Kindness is the magic human connector.

How could you lead with more kindness and compassion this week?

How could you create more moments of genuine human connection in your work?

One thing I’ve been doing is very simple: When I am on a call or in a meeting, I remind myself to focus on how I could be helpful to the other person.

Sometimes I literally ask how I can help. Other times, it’s an intention I hold as I look for opportunities to help — which can be as simple as saying something encouraging.

I’ve noticed that simply holding this intention makes me feel more open and expansive. Last week, two calls resulted in unexpected opportunities. I know that feeling more open and listening better helped to create them.

I’d love to hear how you’re practicing kindness and compassion in your work, especially if you lead a team or work with customers, clients, patients, or students.

Reply and let me know (I read all the responses myself, always!)

I’m excited to be inspired by you.

With joy,


P.S. My new keynote is called KINDNESS TO GREATNESS: Elevating Performance Through Kindness and Self-Compassion.

I am REALLY excited about it!

In it, I share compelling research and real-life stories about how kindness and self-compassion unlock your full potential, empower you to persist through challenges, and foster trust and human connection.

I want to inspire leaders and high performers to stop thinking about compassion and kindness as “soft-skills” and recognize how essential they are to doing great work and creating meaningful positive impact.

If you’re interested in bringing this keynote to your team or organization, please reply to this email — I’d love to connect with you!

I’ve delivered parts of it before during my talks and it’s particularly potent for sales teams, leaders, and high performers with purpose. Here’s a short snippet from one of my previous talks about the power of kindness.

P.P.S. I speak frequently about thriving through change, unlocking confidence, and fueling your emotional fitness to unleash your best self. Learn more about my speaking and keynote topics.

Next up: Yes, I used to think that gratitude was cheesy. Then this happened.

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