By Nataly Kogan

How to have more of what you want

Tags Kindness

What would you love to have more of in your life -- time, love, money, joy, something else?

This may sound strange, but I was recently reminded of a powerful truth: If you want something, give more of that something away.


As I was walking back to my hotel room after a speaking engagement, a woman holding six copies of my book ran up to me, out of breath.

"Oh, I'm so glad I caught you," she said, excitedly. "I bought these copies for my colleagues after your talk and I would love for you to sign them."

I was so grateful for her kindness and generosity. As I signed the books, we began to talk and she told me about her recent struggles finding a house.

Rosa's husband is in a wheelchair so to find an accessible house is a challenge. They've looked at dozens of houses and finally found one they both loved... except the asking price was higher than market. After some deliberation, Rosa and her husband made an offer for the house at the price they thought was fair.

"I was so worried," Rosa told me. "I was worried that we would offend the owners by offering a lower price. I was worried that we wouldn't get the house and have to keep looking."

So that day, after they made the offer, Rosa visited her local bank and took out some cash. She then headed to downtown Orlando and spent a few hours giving out money to the homeless people she met.

"I do this from time to time and I just felt pulled to do it more that day," she said.

"When I got home, I felt uplifted and so excited -- and not at all worried! My husband didn't understand why I had such a change of mood. I told him that it felt so good to be able to help, even in a small way!"

And then Rosa and her husband got the call: Their offer was accepted and they got the house.

If you want something, give it away. This is the wisdom that Rosa had inspired me to remember -- the wisdom I had experienced so many times in my own life.

  • If you want more kindness, be kind.
  • If you want more time, give time away by helping others. (Research shows that people who volunteer report feeling that they have more time in their day.)
  • If you want more love, give love.
  • If you want more joy, bring joy to others.

What is something you're inspired to give away so you can have more of it in your life?

Next up: How to reduce stress with gratitude

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