Whether you're a world leader, high schooler, entrepreneur, or superstar mom, everyone wants to feel powerful. Sometimes we feel like we have it. Other times we don’t. The balance of power is always changing, whether at home, work, or amongst the 8 personalities that play a role in your inner life. And of course, we all have those times when we feel powerless. Like somebody or something totally owns us. We can change that and shift the balance of power right now with a unique angle on mindfulness. This is how:

In American culture, one of the ways we define “power” is the guy in the above picture with ginormous muscles and awesome physical strength. But really? Maybe that guy can lift you and your whole family in the air, but unless he can lift your heart and mind, it’s not power! In his seminal book Power vs. Force, author David Hawkins defines power as a state of awareness, not a sensory experience, look, feel, or balance sheet. In Hawkins’ research, these are the rarest states of awareness, based on one’s vibration -- the higher one goes in Hawkins scale, the more powerful they become:

LOVE (500): 0.4% of the global population reaches this level of consciousness. According to Hawkins, love is not based on a relationship. It is permanent, unchanging, unconditional. How many people do you know who feel unconditional love all the time? Pretty rare, right?

JOY (540): This is even rarer than love, experienced by saints, advanced spiritual students, and healers.  It’s based on enormous patience and persistence of positive attitude. How many people do you know who are always patient and positive? We are getting into very rarified territory here.

PEACE (600): Peace is attained by only 1 in 10 million people. Individuals at this level remove themselves from the world. All is alive and radiant. Total bliss. Either these people are hiding in nature, or they are very famous (e.g., The Dalai Lama or The Hugging Saint).

In other words, if you wish to become truly powerful, be more loving, more joyful, more peaceful -- not more business savvy, political, or physically fit.The greatest lesson here is resistance.The reason peace is so rare is because peace is a blend of all the emotions. Happy and sad. Love and anger. Calmness and anxiety. Nobody in their right mind wants to feel sad or angry or anxious. So we go to great lengths to resist that which is uncomfortable. And then we spend a significant chunk of our time and energy resisting, griping, gossiping, living against rather than living for.

All are forms of resistance. Here are three ways to push past that resistance:

  1. When we allow ourselves to feel whatever comes up without resistance, conditions are conducive to peace.
  2. Loosen, relax, open, breathe.
  3. Realize that power is and forever was yours. Whether or not you accept that is another conversation. 

(For more Dave Romanelli, go here to learn about all of his free Happier courses.)

Happier meditation expert David "Yeah Dave" Romanelli believes wellness and feeling good is much more than fancy yoga poses, green juice, and tight-fitting clothes. Yeah Dave's Guide to Livin' the Moment (Broadway Books) reached #1 on the Amazon Self-Help Bestseller List, and his new book, Happy Is The New Healthy, was just published. He has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Food + Wine, Newsweek, and The New York Times, and is a contributor to Health Magazine, Yoga Journal, and other publications.